Techniques that are encouraged include validation (“What a tough situation”); “tentafiers” (“Do you mind if I ask you . . . ”); strength identification (“You’re a great brother for being so worried about him”); and empathetic responses (“It sounds like you’re feeling anxious because of all these rumors”).

Reflecting tells the person who you are listening to that you understand them, and allows you to passively challenge statements for clarity.

• I hear you saying………..
• Sounds like……………….
• You believe………………….
• …

Statements that start like this are known as “Tentafiers” and they avoid introducing any opinion, advice, or talk of your experience.

…up to two parts: a group of words conveying the tentative nature of the helper's reflection of feeling that I call a tentafier, plus a feeling word.