organ recital
n. A long-winded recitation of one‘s ailments, particularly those related to or caused by aging.

Example Citations:
Often it starts with an innocent greeting, such as "How are you?" When we were younger, the answer was usually, "Fine, how are you?" Lately however, with friends of a certain age, I find that the question will open into a extended discourse about health and aging, reminiscent of the classic Buddhist reflection on the 32 parts of the body — a report on the liver, lungs, joints, muscles, kidneys, heart — a conversation sometimes known as "the organ recital."
—Wes Nisker, "The Practice of Geezing," The Huffington Post, February 6, 2013

These days, in some circles of old folks, this recapitulation of complaints is known as "the organ recital," and, God knows, it does "divert [the] torments," at least for a bit.
—Daniel Klein, Travels With Epicurus (excerpt; see p. 33), Penguin Books, October 30, 2012

Earliest Citation:
Nor does he mention the fact that he served on the Leukemia Society board before he even got the disease — an eerie irony. "I don't accept the gloomy aspect of things — to heck with that," Thysell says, sitting in his office just beyond the busy toll gates of the Coronado Bridge. Too many people, he says, "give organ recitals when they get older."

Organ recitals being a recitation of all the things that are wrong with one's body.
—Suzanne Choney, "Byrd's feisty spirit gives bridge run dash," The San Diego Union-Tribune, October 5, 1985

Notes:
Yes, this phrase isn't even remotely new (I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that it's even older than the earliest citation), but it combines so much wittiness and pithiness in its two-word frame that I just couldn't resist it. Now, about this pain in my foot...

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