MARIE ANTIONETTE: Sofia Coppola interprets France's last queen as a kind of 18th-century celebutard. Luckily, Kirsten Dunst is a smart enough actress to bring more than that to the Versailles party.

At the Docklands Motor Show, I realised Bentley had been chavved. A knot of immaculately dressed, moneyed buyers had gathered around the new GT Continental on its sparkling ExCeL podium. 'It's lovely,' said one, drooling over the car's sleek curves. 'But you couldn't buy one now, could you?' There were knowing nods all round. The GT, you see, is what Wayne Rooney drives. Association with the oiky world of football has put the marque beyond the pale as far as Bentley's top-drawer target market is concerned.

It's an increasingly common occurrence. When at Gucci, Tom Ford saw a picture of Victoria Beckham wearing his designs and reportedly screamed, 'How can we get her out of them?' at his minions. …

Lady Victoria and Lady Isabella Hervey — a right pair of celebutard chavutantes.

For those still wondering what the world-renowned celebutard is really like in person, the Web site TMZ.com got the full transcript of her deposition with lawyers representing Zeta Graff, who's suing Hilton for $10 million for defamation over her alleged role in a story that appeared on this page.