But the problems created by personal watercraft, particularly by Jet Skis (aka lake lice), go beyond endangering the drinking water source. Jet Skis contribute to noise and air pollution and damage the fragile ecological balance of the lake and surrounding vegetation. They create noxious fumes that pollute the air and linger on long after the boats are gone. Water is continuously contaminated by oil and gas residues to the amply documented detriment of fish and wild life.

If the canoe is all-Canadian, so is the anticanoe. It's called the personal watercraft, and it's roaring on a lake near you.

This is America, and jet skiers — so far at least — have a perfect right to terrorize whomever they please. Generically, their obnoxious machines are called motorized personal watercraft. Jet Ski is actually Kawasaki's trademarked name for its models, but most people use the name for all such machines. Of course lakeshore residents, swimmers, beachgoers and boaters have other names for them and their typically ruthless riders — names like "Hell's Angels of the waterways" and "lake lice."