The financial iniquities of the childcare system and the high cost of nannies, particularly in London, are an exacerbating rather than a definitive factor here. It's a decidedly more personal thing; indeed, nanny-envy can sometimes teeter over into nanny-spite or a visceral nanny-hatred — especially, it would seem, if the nanny is very young and attractive.

Thanks to the subsidy, she could afford to hire a temporary nanny to stay with her baby while she was ill, and Ms. DiCarlo liked the nanny so much that she hired her permanently. "My friends now all have nanny envy," she says. "It really makes my life a lot easier."

Many working mothers seem so busy talking about their guilt, ambivalence or nanny envy, they neglect to mention what their husbands, partners and employers should be doing to make their lives easier.