Ah, the retoxification: My first cup of coffee felt like the best drug in the world. My brain hummed like a superpowered word processor.

I end up binge-drinking and smoking to pass the time. It’s childish, I know, but I think I’d go mad otherwise. I’d like to suggest we do something else this summer but my husband, who works hard as an accountant, refers to the annual holiday as his "retox" and says it makes his life worth living.

The fellow went to the detox centre," a nameless lawyer told me, "and when he got out he immediately went to the retox centre — the tavern — where he got loaded. He came back and smashed all the front windows out of the detox centre.